Picture-perfect decorations, families dressed in matching holiday outfits laughing together in front of a cozy fireplace, snow falling outside the window—this is what the holidays look like in commercials and social media. However, in real life the holidays are the most stressful time of the year for many people, and a time when underlying anxiety and depression can become worse. Common causes of increased stress include financial concerns, family conflicts, increased feelings of grief or loneliness, and unrealistic pressures to be perfect when it comes to hosting, decorating, and choosing gifts. I’ve recently learned that even a popular tradition of seeing where a magical elf ends up each night in the home can be a daily stressor for parents, especially when the elf “forgets” to move to a new location.
Here are my 7 favorite tips for surviving the holidays:
1. Simplify your holiday routine
Think about what stressed you out during the last holiday season and consider making a change this year. Are you always scrambling to get holiday cards mailed out in December? Consider skipping the cards this year, sending a digital card, or making a “Happy New Year” card instead. Stressed about trying to find the perfect gift for everyone in your family? Ask them to switch to a White Elephant gift exchange or try using a gifting app where everyone can input their wish lists and track which items are purchased.
2. Keep your self-care routine
You may be focused on doing things for others, but please remember to take care of yourself first. This means trying to stay on a regular sleep schedule, eating balanced meals (with the occasional delicious holiday treat!), getting regular physical activity, and avoiding excessive use of alcohol or other substances. I also recommend making a “fun to-do list” of activities that make you feel relaxed and happy, like watching your favorite movie or snuggling your pet on the couch. Refer to this list when you’re stressed and set aside time to do one of these activities after a stressful event.
3. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with others
Holiday gatherings can be a source of frustration when people ask intrusive personal questions, start political debates, or bring up sensitive topics. Remember that it’s okay to tell someone that you’re uncomfortable with a certain topic and don’t want to talk about it. It’s okay to “agree to disagree.” If verbal attempts to change the subject don’t work, you can always excuse yourself and go to another room to calm down.
4. Go outside and exercise
In Southern California, we’re lucky to be able to enjoy sunshine, blue skies, and ocean views year-round. Research studies have found that being in nature for just 20 minutes can lower cortisol levels, the main stress hormone in our body. Physical activity increases the release of natural “feel good” chemicals in our brain called endorphins, which can increase feelings of happiness and reduce pain. If you’re not sure where to go in Orange County (OC), visit the OC Parks website for information on parks, beaches, zoos, and historic sites: https://www.ocparks.com/.
5. Allow yourself to grieve
The holidays are a time when people are reminded of the loved ones they lost. This is especially hard if it’s the first holiday season without them. You may feel fine one moment and then see something that makes you cry, and that’s okay. Do what you feel is best for you, even if it means skipping a holiday event to stay in and binge your favorite show. For some, it can be helpful to share fond memories with close family and friends or continue a holiday tradition that the person enjoyed. For others, it might be best to seek a support group or grief counselor to learn how to cope with the pain.
6. Connect with the community
For people who don’t have a close support network of friends and family in their area, connecting with the community can help provide that support. Options include joining a local walking club, sports league, cultural center, or faith community. Volunteering is also a great way to feel a sense of purpose while helping others in need. If you’re interested in OC volunteering opportunities, you can visit: County of Orange Volunteer Opportunities.
7. Ask for help when you need it
If your mental health struggles are becoming too overwhelming to handle on your own, don’t be afraid to ask for help! Here are some resources that are available:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): Provides support and education for individuals with mental illness and their loved ones.
- Website: https://www.namioc.org/
- Phone: 714-991-6412 or 800-950-6264. The NAMI OC Warmline is available from 12 pm – 12 am.
- OC Links: Free and confidential telephone and online chat service that connects OC residents to mental health and substance use services.
- Website: OC Links
- Phone: 1-855-OC-LINKS (1-855-625-4657), operates 24/7.
- 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
About Dr. Angela Yu
Angela Yu, MD, is a Board-Certified Psychiatrist and the Associate Medical Director for the Adult & Older Adult Behavioral Health Services at the OC Health Care Agency. She is a Midwest native who completed medical school at the University of Missouri, then moved to California for her residency training at UC-Irvine. During her training, she developed a passion for community mental health after rotating at clinics and homeless shelters which provided services to the underserved. She chose to work for the OC Health Care Agency in 2014 so she could continue to help individuals with severe mental illness. In relation to her article about holiday wellness, she is currently contemplating whether to introduce the magical elf tradition to her home and she welcomes all advice on how to make this tradition as stress-free as possible.
